The hotdog felt warm in his hands as Tim squeezed the Manhattan dressing onto it. He held on to it until it started to cool, only then did he take his bite. This 7-11 was empty, save for himself and the employees. Weird, considering the fact it was only 2:30am and there were so many call centers in the area. Not that it matters anyway.
Tim polished off the hotdog and took a swig of beer. The counter girl glared at him, but he didn't care. He didn't care ten minutes ago when she was telling him not to drink beer in the premises, why should he care now? At any rate, the beer was all finished so it was really a moot point. Time dug into the plastic bag and opened another beer.
He stepped out of the 7-11 and lit a cig. The night was chill and biting. Despite three beers in his gut, he hunched up his jacket. The cigarette and alcohol did nothing to warm him. He was too cold. Hunching up a bit more, he stepped out and made his way to his car.
The area was empty. There was nobody in sight, save for someone leaning on a car, waiting for somebody. It was a few paces into it when Tim saw that it was a woman and she was leaning on his car. He sighed. Wasn't this over yet?
"Steph", Tim said, not kindly. She should just go. She was wasting her time. There was nothing left.
"Tim", Steph stood straight. She almost looked defiant.
"It's late. You should be at home."
"I don't have a home."
"Steph..."
"What is home anyway? Tell me all the corny lines. I'll listen."
"Steph, I don't have time for this-"
"But you have time to skip work for two weeks, and get pissed drunk in your apartment everyday," Steph approached him. "Don't give me that bull**** line."
"What I do with my life is my business."
Steph sighed. "It used to be my life, too."
Steph drew closer. She took Tim in her arms and embraced him. Tim went rigid, and Steph was devoid of any emotion. The time for games was over. This was a denouement. Still, despite himself, Tim drew her closer.
Tim took a deep breath. "We talked about this. This was not going to work."
"All I hear are excuses," Steph stated simply. "'Too many people will get hurt', 'It's not right', It was doomed from the start'. All excuses."
Tim leaned closer, "You know I'm right."
Steph fought back her tears. "I know. It doesn't make it any easier. I'm so confused."
Tim took Steph in his hands and looked straight in her eyes. "Steph, I'm not the person to be confused with. I don't have the answers. I never did."
Steph pulled out from Tim's arms and looked at him. "Didn't it ever occur to you that I'm not looking for answers?"
"Then what are you looking for?"
"Even if I told you, will it change anything?"
"No."
"Then why bother?"
Steph took one last look at Tim then walked away. Tim waited until she was well out of sight before he got into his car. He couldn't drive away.
Damn..... in a way, that happened to me too. At times a guy's frustration is not only in failing to win the lady's heart....but also to stay a 'winner' after winning it...to sustain that feeling of wanting to win. And in the end, everybody loses
-- Edited by bowen at 18:06, 2008-01-21
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